Lots of emotions. Feeling the effects of what is to come!

Just another 4 days until I have to start chemotherapy  I am starting to feel scared and a bit upset. I guess I don't really know what is going to happen, apart from I know it will make me better. It is such a weird feeling  having cancer because you just don't know how to feel. I think people react and take it all in a different way and it effects peoples emotions completely different to others. I know I've had days where I've felt sad but then some I've felt okay and I have accepted it. I just hope I will only need the 4 months they have said because I don't think I want more!

I have a really long day tomorrow have to fast from 7am to at least 4pm because I am having my PET scan. I am also having an ECHO scan, this is for the heart. Also I am having my PICC line put in. I think I am a bit worried about that because it requires a local to numb the area so they can put it in. I think once this is in I will start to feel emotional because I will know what this is for. 

I can't believe how fast the week has gone! Tomorrow would of been a week since I went to visit the cancer ward. I guess I could say soon I'll be in remission! :)
I can't wait for that day! I think I am also still a bit sad about my hair, I've been more aware of hair than ever before and I keep on looking at people when I am out. I hope I will get used it quickly. I know this will be one life changing adventure and will always be a story to tell people.
I defo never thought at the age of 18 I'd be having cancer. 

I know it is a really scary thing for anyone to go through but I've tried to not think about it too much, I've tried to do things which blank it out and I recommend that to anyone who has cancer. I find it the hardest at night because your brain seems to want to think loads when you're trying to sleep! 
I was happy to lots of sleep last night. I fell asleep at 8:30pm which is very strange for me!

Emotions emotions emotions, too many! It doesn't help for me as a teenager because your hormones seem to go bonkers!
I just hope I can contain them all when I am starting chemotherapy  I know the first week will be the worst as it'll all be new and depending on any side effects I may feel under the weather.