Fun but tiring last few days! Friday-Sunday

I have had a really fun Friday to Sunday because on Friday I was able to spend the day at my grandparents and see my cousins who had come down from Scotland :) It was nice to be out of the house more than anything! However it did really affect my tiredness and the way I felt by the end of it. I didn't realise how weak my body actually is when trying to complete simple things - it is kinda annoying me. But I guess I had fun enough. I am just making the most off not being neutropenic! 

Yesterday I was invited to my Church groups BBQ in the evening and I was so happy to go because I got to see people I haven't seen since my birthday party in February! And they were all so happy to see me which was nice! I also got to spend the evening with my amazing cousin Amy :) she's just 5 months older than me but we get on so well and are really like best friends! 

She was the one who invited me along and I am really glad I went! 

I know I was feeling a bit socially awkward half way through because most of them were girls and had really nice summery hair and I started feeling a bit down about it. 

I've never had an issue with socialising with anyone but since I've had cancer I've found it more hard to want to actually go out and socialise and do things mainly because I am normally feeling too out of my comfort zone or tired.

I really felt the effects mainly today as it was my little brother and sisters 9th Birthday party. Half way through I just needed to go and lay down because I just felt so weak and sick. This heat doesn't help me one bit! 

I think chemotherapy in general and the effects are just worse than having cancer. You just never know how your body is going to be one day to the next! 

My little brother and sister enjoyed it which is the main thing and I am glad!

I just wish I was able to do more to help and not feel such a weakling! 

I really can't wait for this to be over so I can get back to being able to manage basic tasks - even having a shower is like a massive task for me because my muscles just aren't strong. I've lost my reflexes completely in my legs so my legs really aren't strong at all and sometimes I go to run up the stairs and I buckle because my legs can't deal with it.

It does put me down a bit just because I know how I used to be and now I just feel like I am an old person! 

I do feel I need a day to recover from my fun couple of days and I hope to feel a bit better! I can't wait for the night I have a full sleep and not being so sweaty and hot! 

I need to recover because next weekend I am spending my time to with my grandparents but I do know I can just go nap whenever I want to in my comfy double bed I sleep in there! 

I am really looking forward to it because I do enjoy my grandparents company and the things we do 

Also I know that my parents can go and do activities in Wales without me that I wouldn't wanna do like walking to zoos and things :)

I am happy to go to Wales Tuesday - Saturday instead of the whole week like them.

I am looking forward to a break from hospitals and not having to think much about chemotherapy.

I hope my break is a celebration that on Thursday 25th July I am being told good news about my scans :) then it can be a weekend with the grandparents and a trip to Wales as a celebration! :)

Just some pictures below Holly and Corbens amazing birthday cakes and cupcakes 

Holly is one direction mad and loves Harry styles and Corben loves Angry bird Star Wars! 

Happy 9th Birthday to them :)